Take A Bite? A Time To Push Forward

You know me. I am the first one to say up front that I am not perfect and that the things I do in this life aren’t always the right thing to do.

However, lately, I have begun to see things a bit differently. Not to say that I think I am becoming perfect, but I realized a few key things about myself this week that I am trying to put in perspective. So stick with me if you wanna get inside my head for a minute. Otherwise, skip this entry…

OK – So, you know that when I first moved here I had the wonderful opportunity to work for Apple. Very fun, but at the end of the day, my contract didn’t get renewed and I went on tour, THANK GOD. Well, I have another opportunity to work for Apple, except this time as member of the elite Apple Store retail team. Yes, Austin is getting an Apple Store and according to the email I got from the recruiter my “resume was selected from a very large pool” of folks for a Mac Specialist position. Interestingly, she couldn’t seem to find my resume when we spoke on the phone today as part of the initial “chat” about the position and my interest in it. Along with the normal questions, we were able to discuss my music a good bit, and how if I decided to taken an offer that it would only be for part-time and that my focus would remain music. She was immediately open to this idea, which I was happy to hear.

OK – The first real issue for me is will it work? Will I be able to enjoy this job without losing focus on the music. I believe the answer is yes, but I want to speak with these people in person. Then I will make that decision. Also, I”m not too sure how I feel about working for Apple Retail after they interviewed Robert for a Mac Genius job and didn’t give it to him. I mean…come on. EVERYONE and their brother knows that Robert was born for a job like that and the fact that they skipped him kinda doesn’t sit well. But that’s just me. I am sure Robert will find his way back to Apple there. There is even talk of him going back to the Server Group. Who knows. Good luck, buddy.

So, I guess I really don’t have a negative that is really too harsh. I think that I am a smart guy. I will figure it out.

Things are looking like I am going to be taking aim at going at it solo for a while. I think it’s time to really focus on my craft and just play and write anywhere and everywhere. A band will come when the time is right. I think I really want one…even a keyboard player (HINT JAMIE), but I know that people have lives and families and stuff. At some point I know things will be right for a band feeling for my songs, but I am not going to stress about it. I have worked a long time to come this far and I can continue on now, stronger than ever.

In a conversation I sat in on earlier about real estate and jobs and “6 figures” talk, I suddenly realized that the only thing really keeping me from any sort of monetary happiness is myself. Not that I need to be a billionaire or something. I don’t. I just need to be comfortable. But I can be that and be a musician. I know that now. Things are working toward that anyway and it feels good. I see this time on my own as a chance for me to prove to myself that I can accomplish all my goals on my own.

If I can’t do it for myself, then why should someone else want to. That’s my take. (Thanks MC)

I have been living a life for so long that belonged to so many others. I did what made others happy. That’s all changed over the last 3 years. When I left Alabama in the GoGoGeoMetro with 13, 50-gallon trash bags filled with clothes, 2 department store shipping boxes, and a laundry basket, I had $165 and some friends I made on the Internet to crash with and an internship at the hottest independent record label in the business. That move didn’t take place because someone thought it was the right thing to do or because I thought it would make this or that person happy. I left the hills of Alabama for the windy city for the sole reason that I knew it was going to make me happy. I wanted it. I needed it. I made it happen. From that point forward…when I crossed that state line into Illinois (OK – I didn’t know there was a $1 toll and it took me a while before some people got pissed enough and came from behind me and paid it!)…I knew it was a story waiting to unfold. MY story. And the events that followed have all been learning experiences, amazing things have happened and good friends have been made. My heart is different.

When I got to Austin, I was whirling. I had left Chicago on yet another whim, but of different circumstance. It wasn’t my first choice to come here, and that was never a secret, but in hindsight it was of course my best choice. I miss Chicago, but Austin is my home. I know that now for sure. The friends I have made here and the life I begun are like nothing I have experienced before and because of that, I feel better.

It’s also no secret that when I arrived in Austin, my bi-polar disorder was really out of whack and I was in need of meds really bad. The recent interview I did with KXAN talked about that part of my life but the part of the interview you didn’t see was how even though the services were made available to me through SIMS, how it was still a fight. It was tough. It is tough. To maintain and keep it together, but it’s honest. It’s who I am. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have friends back home in Alabama. People living these incredibly slow and misunderstood lives and I wonder why they do it? I wonder why when they hear from me and others how it’s affecting their lives and those around them, why don’t they change? But the answer is simple. They don’t want to. And when they do, they will, and if it’s right it will be, and it’s not, it’ won’t be. Tonight, I made the statement that I have lived more than 4 people my age combined and it’s true and I wouldn’t change a bit of it.

My life has been shaped by the many moons I have seen and by the many suns I have felt on my back. The people, the places and the experiences have all been part of an amazing history being written by me and the world around me. I am in a unique position now to continue with what I have started here in Austin. My life is prime for harvest and I am going to push forward and plant now while I’m ready.

Starting with the show this Saturday at Graffiti’s, expect to see a difference in my performance. A more intense and more in focus performance. Now is the time for me to show you what I have to offer. I need to know you’re out there listening and that you like it. I need to hear from you. I want that request. I want that feedback. Time won’t surrender and because of that, I have to push forward.

Did anyone else see the moon tonight. If you did, you will understand what I mean in my new song, “Under A Texas Crescent Moon.”

All love -
~Kia

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